Baby sleep advice can be so confusing and controversial. There are endless battles between the strict schedule gurus training babies to sleep in the dark and the baby-led sleep followers who say it is all about comfort and full tummies.
The truth is both have some truth in them but both get simple things wrong which means they miss the best simple natural ways to help babies sleep in a healthy rhythm that doesn't leave you feeling exhausted.
So in this post I'll take you through the 3 big things both sides of the baby sleep debate get muddled and then the 12 best simple natural ways to help your newborn baby sleep better.
For quick action jump straight to the surprisingly simple natural baby sleep tips that really do work.
How Babies Sleep
The three big things that impact how well babies sleep are :
- Daylight
- Fat
- Stress
But these three things work in surprising ways in newborn and young babies.
Daylight
The baby sleep followers are right that babies are not born with a circadian system. Until 3 to 6 months babies cannot convert darkness - however good the black-out blinds!! - into the sleep hormone melatonin. But this does not mean babies just sleep in their own little rhythm waking up when hungry and going back to sleep when content.
Babies actually follow a circadian rhythm driven by night time melatonin, leptin and prolactin they get directly from their mother in breast milk and indirectly through their mother's sleepy state whether breast fed or not.
These three amazing night time hormones help babies :
- Feel sleepier at night
- Feel fuller for longer
- Fall back to sleep after feeding
- Sleep more calmly
- And bottom line sleep longer!
But babies will only get the benefits of these hormones from us at night if we have a healthy circadian rhythm and the biggest driver of a healthy circadian rhythm is how much daylight we get during the day.
So daytime routines are super important for baby's sleep at night but it is our routine NOT theirs that makes all the difference.
In the baby sleep tips below I'll show you simple ways to build a healthy circadian rhythm.
Fat
The baby-led sleep advocates are again right that babies wake when they are hungry. And the strict feeding-sleeping schedule gurus are right that fatty hind milk released later in long feeds is what keeps baby tummies full.
But both miss key things in modern life that inhibit hind milk and leave babies hungry. The biggest culprit is insulin.
Now insulin is super helpful in our bodies. It lets us run as a duel fuel engine on fats and sugars and it helps manage both the storage and release of fat. We actually need insulin to help release tummy filling hind milk but many of us have crazy blood sugar patterns that lock up poor quality fat and leave baby hungry.
The simple changes below to our diets can help our babies fill up better for longer sleep.
Stress
Stressed babies struggle to sleep but they can't simply be trained to comfort themselves because much of their stress actually comes from us!
We give them the stress hormone cortisol in milk and our cortisol levels can block the oxytocin in milk and skin-to-skin contact that helps them produce the contented baby hormone serotonin.
So their contentment depends strongly on us and yet again the best way to help our baby sleep stress free is to focus on our own wellbeing.
Follow the simple tips below for surprisingly simple ways to ease your stress.
Natural Ways To Help Baby Sleep
These natural ways to help your baby sleep better will surprise you because unlike most baby sleep training guides they are focused primarily on you and not your baby. The big reason for this, as explained above, is because babies under 6 months still depend on our hormones to sleep effectively. So these tips will make sure yours are at healthy levels and following the right rhythm through daylight and darkness.
Skin To Skin Contact
All babies whether breastfed or bottle-fed need skin to skin contact to help them fall to sleep. Without it they can't ease stress or sleep more deeply at night.
That's not an argument for co-sleeping (your choice); just for plenty of close up cuddles when we sit down and relax during the day and as we get sleepy in the evening.
Any Help You Can Get
We're meant to be anxious about our babies but if we are overwhelmed with cortisol from stress we will pass that on to babies - directly and indirectly - and it will impact their sleep.
So do accept and ask for any help you can get in those first few months and especially with those things you're most worried and scared about.
No Pure Sugar
Skipping sugar as much as possible can really help our baby sleep better even if they are bottle fed. That's because loading up on sugary carbs sends our insulin haywire which in turn spikes the stress hormone cortisol and cortisol blocks the baby soothing oxytocin we release in cosy cuddles as well as breast milk.
Great Quality Fat
The easiest way to slash sugar is to eat great quality fats i.e. real fat not seed oils or artificial fats as they full us up and give us stable energy to burn without spiking the stress hormones that stop babies sleeping.
Obviously diets vary but enjoy a good mix of fats from :
- Dairy
- Oily fish
- Olive oil
- Eggs
- Roast meat
- Avocados etc.
Daylight 1st Thing
If we want a nice wave of the sleep hormone melatonin in the evening to make us and baby sleepy, we must get daylight on our eyes first thing. It sounds strange but it is this light that tells our body clock when to go to sleep.
So get outside as early as you can every morning.
Hot Low Sugar Breakfast (Minus Coffee)
Daylight first thing does wake our body up and triggers a nice balance of cortisol and serotonin to get us - and baby - through the day with heightened alertness in between naps. But a hot low sugar breakfast (caffeine free) gives us an extra boost.
This extra breakfast boost is really important if you have a baby in winter as poor light means we struggle to wake up properly. And if we don't wake up properly we won't be sleepy and baby won't sleep in the evening.
But it is really important that this breakfast is low sugar and caffeine free. Because if it isn't we get a huge cortisol hit and an insulin boost that triggers another huge cortisol hit a few hours later!! We pass those big unbalanced cortisol hits onto our baby in breast milk and close contact and undermine their morning naps.
Mid-Morning Errands
You would not think it but a 20 minute errand mid-morning can help your baby sleep better at night!! Keeping in sync with the day - even on cloudy days - helps to produce a stronger wave of melatonin in the evening. The stronger that wave, the easier your baby will find it to fall into deep night time sleep.
That quick errand though also helps with day time naps - a short walk and a quick chat with neighbours or people at the store releases feel good serotonin in us, as loneliness is a real issue for new mothers. Serotonin in us balances out cortisol and is passed onto our baby as a general feeling of contentment in oxytocin when we are cuddling and feeding.
Big Hot Lunch
A big hot meal with plenty of good quality protein and fat gives us the energy we need to support a newborn but eaten in the evening, it suppresses our precious melatonin. Evening meals also, if we are not careful, push up insulin causing a cortisol spike two hours later, perfectly timed to wreak havoc with that 10pm baby feed!!
So to help your baby slip easily into a daytime-nighttime sleep schedule, eat your main meal at lunchtime. Some mothers also find eating at lunch time helps with long term gastritis and IBS issues.
Stroll After Lunch
A short stroll with baby after lunch - 10 minutes or so is fine - gives us another quick daylight sync (to support melatonin in the evening), releases more calming serotonin and gently stabilises insulin released by our big lunch so it doesn't crash later and send stressful cortisol spiking.
Post Lunch Nap
For a long time I bought into the sleep-when-baby-sleeps advice but it completely messes with our circadian rhythm so we can't then give our baby the day-night cues they need. However, many of us are exhausted by the end of pregnancy and labour and can't get through the day without a nap.
If you do need a nap the best possible window is between 1 and 2.30. If we leave it any later we mess up our melatonin in the evening.
Mid-Afternoon Potter Outside
The end of the afternoon can always be a struggle with new babies as their energy levels sag even after a good feed and nap. This is when a quick potter about outside whilst carrying our baby can really help.
Another dose of daylight boosts our energy naturally but quite miraculously our baby's alertness is stimulated by contact with our gentle activity. This is down to noradrenaline - an alertness hormone - that babies produce when they feel us being active and hear us talking or singing!!
Light Early Evening Meal
A light early evening meal with easily digested protein and fat at least 2 hours before we want to put baby down for the night, keeps our energy up without suppressing sleep inducing melatonin or triggering stress provoking insulin and cortisol cascades.
OK so now we have these 12 simple rules for a healthy circadian rhythm that will help our baby sleep, lets return to the thorny issues of schedules and which is best for your baby.
The Best Baby Sleep Schedule For You
The honest truth is that babies can sleep well on both a fairly strict timetable and on a more flexible baby-led rhythm so the right type of schedule is almost always the one that fits best with our own personality. Just remember that neither approach will work if our own circadian rhythm is poor.
We also have to recognise the big variation in how long newborn babies can stay awake. It is no use trying to follow someone else's strict sleep schedule in which our newborn is meant to stay awake for 90 minutes when they can only actually stay awake for 30.
So if you do want to follow a sleep timetable you may need to adjust it to your baby's maximum wake time which as you can see from the table below may be much less over the first 6 months than the book you are trying to follow says!!
| Baby Age | Max Awake Time |
| Newborn | 30-90 minutes |
| 2-4 Weeks | 45-90 minutes |
| 1 Month | 1-2 hours |
| 2 Months | 1.5-2.5 hours |
| 3-6 Months | 2-4.5 hours |
You may also have a newborn baby who sleeps for hours e.g. 5, 6 or 7 hours at a time. If that's you, jump to the babies who sleep for hours section below.
Adjusting Your Baby Schedule
We obviously have to gradually adjust our baby's sleep schedule or rhythm to the increasing amount of time that they can stay awake but we also need to be aware of two big stages of development that can knock babies off their sleep rhythm in their first 6 months :
- Circadian Response To Light
- Weaning To Solids
Circadian Response
We've seen that newborn babies respond to their mother's circadian rhythm but at roughly 3 months they start to respond to daylight directly and produce their own melatonin in the evening.
This development is no big deal if you've been following a healthy circadian rhythm in that first 3 months. Just keep doing what you have been doing getting daylight at minimum (the more the better) :
- First thing
- Mid morning
- Lunchtime
- Middle of afternoon
Both of you will then be in sync with the day and with each other. However, two common issues can undermine your baby's developing circadian response.
Going Back To Work
If you are back at work you can knock baby's emerging circadian rhythm off course if you don't get enough daylight yourself. Baby's own sleep hormones may not be strong enough in the evening to induce sleep if you are passing on big doses of cortisol rather than melatonin.
Black Out Blinds
Sleeping in the dark with black out blinds during the day may also actually mess with our baby's emerging circadian rhythm. Night time sleep should be different from daytime sleep and there are good scientific reasons why mothers for millennia put their babies outdoors to nap. Save those blinds for long summer evenings when it doesn't get dark.
Weaning To Solids
Between 4 and 6 months babies start to get hungry for more than milk. This can mean previously good night sleepers suddenly start waking up at night and fall off that lovely strict sleep schedule you had them following!
Current public health advice does recommend weaning later than we would have done traditionally and some babies may be ready for more than milk closer to 5 months.
But before deciding to wean early it is worth upping the amount of time your baby spends outdoors as by 5 to 6 months their circadian rhythm will be more independent from yours and may need more light to get a really strong wave of melatonin to keep them asleep longer.
Babies Who Sleep For Hours
Now whilst most parents are desperately searching for help to get their babies to sleep more some newborn babies - I had one - sleep for hours and hours and hours and don't wake to feed.
Excessive sleeping tendencies are actually not uncommon :
- In pre-term babies
- After caesarian delivery.
If you have both - I did - the tendency can be very strong and worrying as your baby may not be getting enough milk or even be able to stay awake long enough to feed.
The issue is typically that the babies didn't get the big release of the alertness hormone noradrenalin that comes in the last weeks of pregnancy and in the birth canal.
These babies are therefore dependent on close body-to-body contact with us to stimulate noradrenalin after birth. Our movement, activity and voice are the best stimulus, so carrying baby in a baby sling of some sort whilst getting on with chores can be a good way to increase their alertness and ease them into a better sleep rhythm.
And there we go, 12 incredibly simple - and surprising - tips that give us the really healthy circadian rhythm we need so that our baby can sleep well PLUS ideas on how to find the right sleep schedule for your baby.
I do hope they help.
For more simple new baby advice check out my other baby posts and follow me on Pinterest.
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